Tag Archive | Purging

My Tooth

Hi everyone 🙂

So, I did some research on the whole how purging is ruining my teeth. Basically, the enamel is weakened by the excess of acid and gets thinner until it almost disappears, exposing the dentine which is sensitive. Over time, the enamel will disappear totally and the teeth will wear down into a point and lose their height.

Because anorexics and bulimics’ teeth are weakened by the acid erosion, they are not protected properly by saliva so the body’s immune defences are down, and on top of all this people with eating disorders, me included, tend to eat a heap of sugary foods, especially during an attack of compulsive eating. We also drink a ton of fizzy and sugary drinks to help with hunger pains- fizzy drinks also help with purging. I adore my Pepsi Max, but apparently it’s a well-known fact that all those sorts of drinks are one of the key causes of acid erosion in teeth. So, because of all of the above, people with eating disorders have rapidly increased tooth decay.

And let me tell you, it hurts- your teeth become more painful and sensitive to the cold, acid, sugar and even brushing. Your teeth start looking more yellow then white, and they stain easily.

The only thing I’ve read that helps somewhat, besides recovery, is chewing sugar free gum, which stimulates the production of saliva and limits acid reflux. Chewing gum is actually a trick taught on pro ana websites to help stave off hunger pains, as well, so to any anorexics out there please take care of your teeth, even if it is just by chewing gum and making sure you rinse your mouth after purging.

Better yet, go to your dentist. Because it bl–dy hurts!

~Hayley

P.S. The following pics are not my teeth.

P.P.S. If you want to learn more facts about the tooth stuff, the website I used was: http://www.milestonesprogram.org/news/40/Anorexia_and_Bulimia__The_Effects_on_Your_Teeth

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The Worst Place To Purge

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My least favorite place to purge is a toilet. And the worst sort? Public toilets. It’s sickening, leaning over a toilet where hundreds, if not thousands, of people have peed in and pooped in, and the loo water and vomit is splashing up onto your face, and you just feel like crying, and you wonder- is it really worth it? Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

Ana comes above everything- including your dignity. So I swallow my pride, and bend over a toilet, trying to purge quietly. After, I have to wipe up the mess on the sides of the toilet bowl, and flush.

Once, at a party, the toilet wouldn’t flush, and my friend was knocking on the door asking (yelling at) me to hurry up. I was just staring, horrified, at the vomit bobbing around on the surface, and I thought- crap! This is it! Then I remembered a story on an anorexia site where a woman was in a similar situation, and I did what she did. I chucked in a ton of toilet paper, and told my friend that it wouldn’t flush.

When I say I purge in toilets, do you imagine me on my knees, bending over the toilet bowl? Well, that’s actually wrong. Any anorexic/bulimic that’s ever done any research will be able to tell you that kneeling isn’t a good position. Besides the floor been uncomfortable for your poor knees, it’s better to have your head lower then your stomach- it’s gravity, people! If you kneel it will take longer and be harder to get everything up. If you stand and bend, it comes up a lot quicker, and a lot more at once.

Another little thing that bugs me- people often imagine that it only takes one vomit to get everything up. WRONG! You might have to coax your body to purge nearly twenty times before you get everything up. I’d say, for me, it’s about five vomits minimum before I start getting all bile, no food.

Purging is a closely kept secret, because it’s so shameful. It’s hard to write about, I feel disgusting when I write about it. But as I’ve just purged in a public toilet, I thought I’d write while the memory is still fresh (and vivid).

Thanks for reading this, whoever has taken the time to!

Urge to Purge

The urge to purge (self induce vomiting) after eating can be so overwhelming that you can’t concentrate on anything else. Being blocked from purging is agony. Feelings of guilt, self-hatred and anxiety soar to an all-time high. It’s all you can think about. It’s an obsession.

I’ve paced around the house, fighting myself, trying not to purge. I scratch my arms with my nails, I recite times-tables, I do anything I can to try and distract myself from the pain inside. It never works.

An example is two nights ago. I was being weighed the next day and knew it was important that I kept down my dinner- a small vegetarian lasagna and Pepsi Max. The logical part of me knew that it was just one meal, just this one time. But I couldn’t do it. I was pacing my room, pulling on my hair, trying to fight it.

I soon ended up bent over the toilet forcing up the meal. Yesterday, when I was weighed, my parents threw a fit and made me drink a really fatty milkshake, and said that I’d have to do it again tomorrow and the day after, etcetera. Needless to say, I purged the milkshake immediately.

The main message I’m trying to pass on is don’t judge people who purge. It often just isn’t worth the self-loathing and anxiety involved in keeping the food down.

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