Archive | February 2014

My Tooth

Hi everyone 🙂

So, I did some research on the whole how purging is ruining my teeth. Basically, the enamel is weakened by the excess of acid and gets thinner until it almost disappears, exposing the dentine which is sensitive. Over time, the enamel will disappear totally and the teeth will wear down into a point and lose their height.

Because anorexics and bulimics’ teeth are weakened by the acid erosion, they are not protected properly by saliva so the body’s immune defences are down, and on top of all this people with eating disorders, me included, tend to eat a heap of sugary foods, especially during an attack of compulsive eating. We also drink a ton of fizzy and sugary drinks to help with hunger pains- fizzy drinks also help with purging. I adore my Pepsi Max, but apparently it’s a well-known fact that all those sorts of drinks are one of the key causes of acid erosion in teeth. So, because of all of the above, people with eating disorders have rapidly increased tooth decay.

And let me tell you, it hurts- your teeth become more painful and sensitive to the cold, acid, sugar and even brushing. Your teeth start looking more yellow then white, and they stain easily.

The only thing I’ve read that helps somewhat, besides recovery, is chewing sugar free gum, which stimulates the production of saliva and limits acid reflux. Chewing gum is actually a trick taught on pro ana websites to help stave off hunger pains, as well, so to any anorexics out there please take care of your teeth, even if it is just by chewing gum and making sure you rinse your mouth after purging.

Better yet, go to your dentist. Because it bl–dy hurts!

~Hayley

P.S. The following pics are not my teeth.

P.P.S. If you want to learn more facts about the tooth stuff, the website I used was: http://www.milestonesprogram.org/news/40/Anorexia_and_Bulimia__The_Effects_on_Your_Teeth

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An Apology and an Update

Well, I have seriously been neglecting this blog, and I’ve decided it’s time to change that.

I don’t really have an excuse, except I had a relapse (which you could probably tell from the last few posts I put up) so I was thinking less about recovery, and more about losing as much weight as I could. Anorexia/bulimia is filled with so many bloody ups and downs. People talk about recovery, tell you it’s possible, but it feels like they’re all f-cking liars.

The truest quote I think I’ve ever read about anorexia is the following:

“They say I am ‘recovered’ but really, anorexia is for life. Recovered is a state of calm where the anorexia is controlled, caged but always waiting for you to fall again. And the worst part is, I don’t think I want to change that.” 

So, update on my life: went back into a hospital a few times, the longest stay been nine weeks. Right now I’m holding a steady weight, and only purging about once every second day, which is a bloody big improvement.

Some of the less pleasant side-effects from my eating disorder are starting to hit me, including my parents having to pay thousands of dollars on root canals to fix my teeth, thanks to the stomach acid that comes with the purging. I feel like complete crap about it, as well as being in pain. I felt so bad after the last appointment that I asked to have Hungry Jacks for the first time in I can’t even remember how long just to try and cheer mum up. Well, that backfired on me. I couldn’t eat dinner I felt so awful/self hating.

So, that’s my life at the moment.

Oh, and an update on my friends- Linnie’s probably doing the best out of all of us. She moved schools to take the pressure off constantly been surrounded by me and Margie and it’s really worked for her. I’ve never seen her look as healthy as she does in all the time I’ve known her, so kudos to her 🙂

Harriet’s honestly trying her best, but I don’t think she’s getting far. She can’t stop exercising, constantly, constantly exercising, and despite the fact I honestly think she wants to get better, she just can’t let herself.

Margie’s doing just as badly as me. Her weight’s dropped so she’s close to being admitted to hospital, and she has no intention or desire to try and get better.

Give me strength, guys, coz I need it ❤

~Hayley